Monday, December 22, 2008
shit
I'm at work right now and I'm feeling really sick. my nose has been running since yesterday and the drain has really come to a head this morning. There are no customers in the store today and the time is moving very slowly. This place is making my brain shrivel like a flacid penis in the middle of a polar plunge
Saturday, December 20, 2008
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Monday, December 8, 2008
FRIDAY AT SIX PEE EMM. JOSH'S SHOW IN THE AREA AT ST JOESEPHS CHURCH IN THE BASEMENT.
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Saturday, December 6, 2008
Wednesday. Eight Pee Em. Pub. Jeff. Drunk now. Drunk later. bye.
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Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Brittany Flickinger's New BFF
i know i'm a day late seeing this but i'm going to say it right now, i totally called brittany winning the BFF contest way back in august. and so what if the girl has an agenda of her own? to me that signifies that whether or not she won the contest, she'd keep on keepin on no matter what. it was so obvious from the beginning. i mean, come on. just look at her hair. she teased the SHIT out of it and it is gorgeous all the time. all of the other bitches' haircuts were all like "omg i totally like saw this haircut on paris in a magazine i'm totally gonna like... wear it now! omg lollerpopz"
i don't know. but i do know that brittany is strikingly beautiful.
she has the cuteness value of cindy lou who, the cutest little who in whoville. i'd kiss her forehead.
i'm just saying.
so after i put up my christmas tree today, i was sitting on my recliner all reclined and ready to zonk out, so naturally i start to feel up my man titties for a while. Just... checking for firmness and what have you, but i'm almost certain i found some lumps in there! i don't know if it's cancer or if i've just been letting myself go, but it's getting a bit lumpy up under there. the lumpiness starts around the nipple and follows the the outside of my armpits. maybe i should just not touch myself?
yesterday, for lunch, i cooked myself some turkey egg rolls. your standard issue eggroll has cabbage and carrots in it, as far as i know. i put cheese in mine, fuck it. i love cheese, what. cheese and french onions. i'm far too irresponsible to be handling hot oil in a pan, though. the eggrolls pop like bacon when you throw them in the grease and my entire stove and half of my kitchen floor was covered with a thin film of oil at the end of the day, all of this on top of the numerous burns i acquired in the process. i didn't feel like cleaning up afterwards because i'd put a bottle of jameson in the freezer for the rocks in my glass and sat down in the living room and got drunk watching undeclared. it's such a shame that undeclared only lasted for one season. it's horribly funny. whatever network decided to nix that show i'm sure now is kicking their own asses seeing how well all of judd apatow's gang is doing.
when i finally started to do the dishes there was some bullshit clogging up my insinkerator but i was afraid to stick my hand down there to fix it because i kinda need my hands to play piano and touch myself.
this post is shit. it feels like shit. just a dumb recap of how little i've been doing for the past two days.
so verizon wireless fucked me over again.at the beginning of last month, on the 7th, i paid the huge outstanding balance i had on my account. it was like 400 bones or something. the payment was for two overdue lines on my account, one for my phone and the other for my laptop internet. now, since i've gotten web access on the desktop in the dining room, i knew that i didn't need to pay the 59 dollars a month anymore for laptop web so after i paid my dues i told the bubbly customer service agent to shut the second line down. this, i knew, would not be a problem because i've had the internet service for two years and escaped the termination fee. she told me she'd take care of it. this is where i go wrong a little bit. i go wrong by assuming that she actually would take care of it and that i didn't have to worry about an enourmous bill next month. my bill was mailed on the 16 billing me for the partial month and the next full month, but it was like 200 bucks again so i was like wtf! ya know? i thought Bee took care of me! i had to go fix this. i walked into the verizon store and told a rep that i needed my bill cut in half and they were all like "who the fuck is this guy" and sent me to the back and i got to talk to Bee once again about my goings on. i told her that i told her to turn off my second line the last time i was in there and she, in essence, called me a liar. she said "since i don't have a reciept of the account adjustment it didn't happen."
now, i know very well that statement is true. i'm not retarded. but who's fault is it that i don't have a reciept, really?
she called a manager up and he told me the same thing, and he asked me "how could we have shut down your line if you didn't return the equipment?" and i told him that the last time i was in there she said nothing about me needed to return the equipment and the she'd take care of me.
They're treating me like some sort of child here, like i'm just in here to try to scam half of my bill down. I hate being treated like a child. Just because i have boyish good looks doesn't mean i can't think for my self, asshole.
they kept on playing the "you never came in here" story like i was maybe biting it, and i go on trying to not shout and rationalize with this dude and this Bee.
I offered to show him the entire months usage on the second line, which was zero kilobytes, and he kept telling me the charge was valid even though i didn't use the equipment.
I asked to shut my line down today, because i knew i could, after he told me i'd need to return my equipment before i could.
Both of them told me that, after they gave to me the fact that i was in the store to pay my bill that day, maybe the reason my line didn't get disconnected was because i didn't have my equipment to return. I let the manager toy with the notion that he's right about that for a while and continue arguing with Bee. I told the man "why would any person in their right mind come into a cell provider knowing that they want a service cut off, pay a huge fine associated with said service, committed to not using said service anymore, and walk out of the store knowing that he will gladly being paying for something he's not going to use?"
the dude said i don't know.
I know you dont know, dude. i know.
I told them that i've already had a two year contract up and i'm shutting the line down today because i don't need to return the equipment or pay an additional fine assholes, i told them that i'm not paying the reconnect and service charges, i told them that i felt belittled by the way they attempted to handle my situation, i told them i'm unsatisfied with the way their business is run, and just before i decided to start yelling, i told them they need to "get it together" a little bit.
i was very angry. angry that i wasted all that time in the store only to fix the fuck up they made a month previous, but not have the part of their fuck up i need to pay for get fixed. now i have to waste even more of my time calling robot customer service complaining until i get my hunerd bucks back. assholes.
on a lighter note, the nails on my left foot are painted in a color that glows under a blacklight. super gnar.
i think i'm going to lay down some more beats. i'm trying to add some pad synth in the background of that HandsTogether song because it sounds a little thin and tinny. trying to make the pad i want on a subtractive sythnthesizer is tough shit, man! i'm using one with six oscilators, three filters and an fx chain, i could spend all day just tweaking the pitch decay on the sub octave of the WOOSH noise on my pad! fuck!
oh well, it's an artistic pursuit. i need to find a way to record my live guitar into my sequencer, tho. i guess i have to go buy a mic. I'm BROKE!
I'm reading this book called The Female Brain.
I'm fucking confused.
So many needs.
Brittany, you're gorgeous. Congrats on not sucking like all of those other hos on that show.
i don't know. but i do know that brittany is strikingly beautiful.
she has the cuteness value of cindy lou who, the cutest little who in whoville. i'd kiss her forehead.
i'm just saying.
so after i put up my christmas tree today, i was sitting on my recliner all reclined and ready to zonk out, so naturally i start to feel up my man titties for a while. Just... checking for firmness and what have you, but i'm almost certain i found some lumps in there! i don't know if it's cancer or if i've just been letting myself go, but it's getting a bit lumpy up under there. the lumpiness starts around the nipple and follows the the outside of my armpits. maybe i should just not touch myself?
yesterday, for lunch, i cooked myself some turkey egg rolls. your standard issue eggroll has cabbage and carrots in it, as far as i know. i put cheese in mine, fuck it. i love cheese, what. cheese and french onions. i'm far too irresponsible to be handling hot oil in a pan, though. the eggrolls pop like bacon when you throw them in the grease and my entire stove and half of my kitchen floor was covered with a thin film of oil at the end of the day, all of this on top of the numerous burns i acquired in the process. i didn't feel like cleaning up afterwards because i'd put a bottle of jameson in the freezer for the rocks in my glass and sat down in the living room and got drunk watching undeclared. it's such a shame that undeclared only lasted for one season. it's horribly funny. whatever network decided to nix that show i'm sure now is kicking their own asses seeing how well all of judd apatow's gang is doing.
when i finally started to do the dishes there was some bullshit clogging up my insinkerator but i was afraid to stick my hand down there to fix it because i kinda need my hands to play piano and touch myself.
this post is shit. it feels like shit. just a dumb recap of how little i've been doing for the past two days.
so verizon wireless fucked me over again.at the beginning of last month, on the 7th, i paid the huge outstanding balance i had on my account. it was like 400 bones or something. the payment was for two overdue lines on my account, one for my phone and the other for my laptop internet. now, since i've gotten web access on the desktop in the dining room, i knew that i didn't need to pay the 59 dollars a month anymore for laptop web so after i paid my dues i told the bubbly customer service agent to shut the second line down. this, i knew, would not be a problem because i've had the internet service for two years and escaped the termination fee. she told me she'd take care of it. this is where i go wrong a little bit. i go wrong by assuming that she actually would take care of it and that i didn't have to worry about an enourmous bill next month. my bill was mailed on the 16 billing me for the partial month and the next full month, but it was like 200 bucks again so i was like wtf! ya know? i thought Bee took care of me! i had to go fix this. i walked into the verizon store and told a rep that i needed my bill cut in half and they were all like "who the fuck is this guy" and sent me to the back and i got to talk to Bee once again about my goings on. i told her that i told her to turn off my second line the last time i was in there and she, in essence, called me a liar. she said "since i don't have a reciept of the account adjustment it didn't happen."
now, i know very well that statement is true. i'm not retarded. but who's fault is it that i don't have a reciept, really?
she called a manager up and he told me the same thing, and he asked me "how could we have shut down your line if you didn't return the equipment?" and i told him that the last time i was in there she said nothing about me needed to return the equipment and the she'd take care of me.
They're treating me like some sort of child here, like i'm just in here to try to scam half of my bill down. I hate being treated like a child. Just because i have boyish good looks doesn't mean i can't think for my self, asshole.
they kept on playing the "you never came in here" story like i was maybe biting it, and i go on trying to not shout and rationalize with this dude and this Bee.
I offered to show him the entire months usage on the second line, which was zero kilobytes, and he kept telling me the charge was valid even though i didn't use the equipment.
I asked to shut my line down today, because i knew i could, after he told me i'd need to return my equipment before i could.
Both of them told me that, after they gave to me the fact that i was in the store to pay my bill that day, maybe the reason my line didn't get disconnected was because i didn't have my equipment to return. I let the manager toy with the notion that he's right about that for a while and continue arguing with Bee. I told the man "why would any person in their right mind come into a cell provider knowing that they want a service cut off, pay a huge fine associated with said service, committed to not using said service anymore, and walk out of the store knowing that he will gladly being paying for something he's not going to use?"
the dude said i don't know.
I know you dont know, dude. i know.
I told them that i've already had a two year contract up and i'm shutting the line down today because i don't need to return the equipment or pay an additional fine assholes, i told them that i'm not paying the reconnect and service charges, i told them that i felt belittled by the way they attempted to handle my situation, i told them i'm unsatisfied with the way their business is run, and just before i decided to start yelling, i told them they need to "get it together" a little bit.
i was very angry. angry that i wasted all that time in the store only to fix the fuck up they made a month previous, but not have the part of their fuck up i need to pay for get fixed. now i have to waste even more of my time calling robot customer service complaining until i get my hunerd bucks back. assholes.
on a lighter note, the nails on my left foot are painted in a color that glows under a blacklight. super gnar.
i think i'm going to lay down some more beats. i'm trying to add some pad synth in the background of that HandsTogether song because it sounds a little thin and tinny. trying to make the pad i want on a subtractive sythnthesizer is tough shit, man! i'm using one with six oscilators, three filters and an fx chain, i could spend all day just tweaking the pitch decay on the sub octave of the WOOSH noise on my pad! fuck!
oh well, it's an artistic pursuit. i need to find a way to record my live guitar into my sequencer, tho. i guess i have to go buy a mic. I'm BROKE!
I'm reading this book called The Female Brain.
I'm fucking confused.
So many needs.
Brittany, you're gorgeous. Congrats on not sucking like all of those other hos on that show.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
I just finished sewing new buttons onto my coat. The coat is brand new and it's this deep green-blue color. The buttons that came on the coat were fine but the zipper and accents are made of bronze so I went and bought some bronze buttons. Lauren and I went out to get my buttons earlier today, before she had to go to work. I had some business to take care of in Bourbonnais during the day so I didn't mind hanging out with her for a while. We went to Michael's but they don't carry fashion buttons, only "novelty" buttons. What the hell is a novelty button? The old woman clerk pointed us in the direction but we couldn't find them so neither of us know still was a novelty button is. The new Hobby Lobby is up and running where the old Walmart used to be, so we headed in there and found not only buttons but a bunch of really cool, useless things like iron-on felt decor and plastic fruit. There were a gang of three white gangsters in hobby lobby roaming around so out of place amongst all of the eldery woman in the store which we later found out to be only there to buy yellow, grey and black colored bandanas. It's a good thing I didn't have any cash on me! I read today on my Panda Express reciept that if you take the two minutes to submit a survey on the phone to panda express they will give you a free 2 entree meal for free. I've been keeping all of my reciepts lately which is why I read it in the first place, but I just found it astonishing that most people throw those things away without even realizing that they're throwing away free food. The reciepts I'm keeping help me to account for every single cent I spend. Not only is personal book-keeping essential for future financial stability, but I find it to be a joyous pass-time for someone with out of control OCD like myself. The math is remedial. I had some bullshit to deal with at verizon wireless today, too. my bill was 190 bucks. fuck that shit. i had, for a while, had my phone turned off up until the 7th of november, when i went in to pay my enourmous balance. i talked to a woman named Bee. i disconnected one of the lines on my account that day, and long story short, they billed me for two lines this month. i went in today to dispute it but they were not cooperating so i left. i'll deal with that on wednesday.
i feel like a fat ass, considering all that i've eaten today. that's usually what happens on my days off. even working two jobs i have too many days off. i just want my mobo and hard drive to arrive so i can put my PC together. something to keep my hands busy for a while. and i get kind of upset thinking about how i sent in my application so early and got accepted already, and now i don't have going to college in the front of my thoughts anymore. i sit on my ass all day knowing that i'm going to school but feeling absolutely no pressure to get anything done because for all i know i'm prepared to head out. i just sit and eat. i don't know how i maintain, it's a natural wonder. before i got my admitance letter i was up in arms about getting all of my stuff organized and making a plan on what i'll need to have to be ready to actually get my shit done, but now the work is over and i'm just floating again. my brain works really hard when it's under pressure but not at all when i'm relaxed. i don't like that about myself. hopefully i'll have enough books to drown myself in by the time august rolls around.
"He denied a BJ mid-BJ. Do you know how hard that is for guys? It's called blue-balls, sister.
He's like Ghandi, only better."
i feel like a fat ass, considering all that i've eaten today. that's usually what happens on my days off. even working two jobs i have too many days off. i just want my mobo and hard drive to arrive so i can put my PC together. something to keep my hands busy for a while. and i get kind of upset thinking about how i sent in my application so early and got accepted already, and now i don't have going to college in the front of my thoughts anymore. i sit on my ass all day knowing that i'm going to school but feeling absolutely no pressure to get anything done because for all i know i'm prepared to head out. i just sit and eat. i don't know how i maintain, it's a natural wonder. before i got my admitance letter i was up in arms about getting all of my stuff organized and making a plan on what i'll need to have to be ready to actually get my shit done, but now the work is over and i'm just floating again. my brain works really hard when it's under pressure but not at all when i'm relaxed. i don't like that about myself. hopefully i'll have enough books to drown myself in by the time august rolls around.
"He denied a BJ mid-BJ. Do you know how hard that is for guys? It's called blue-balls, sister.
He's like Ghandi, only better."
Pissed Off Mopey Dollface and a Name Up In Flames.
Working two jobs, but I'm still not making hardly any money. What I am making is a name for myself. A name that I'm finding to be hard to hear about. I just woke up about thirty minutes ago and it's been almost a year since I've put any of my thoughts into words; I notice how much more slowly these words are coming. This name, it's one of me living my life on what seems to be not a line but a boundless carousel riding down a set of train tracks on which the driver of this insane contraption has control over all of the switch points. Now, sure, it sounds like a world of fun. It is. I will vouch for you. But along this ride I can't help but catch up to a few slow-moving frieights, and they get mad when I occupy their track.
Enough of this cryptography.
Who do I think I am, a rapper or something?
What I'm saying is that I simply don't play by the rules.
I don't adhere to social standards.
My main goal in being this way is usually nothing more than to brighten some random mope's day, or to stand out from the crowd to some girl who I think is cute so that she'll think of me sometime later that day. I find this unorthodox state of being affecting the girls more so than the mopes, the mopes being less receptive to anything going on in life save whatever bad mood they're in. The trouble comes when a caustic mixture of the two gets stirred up by me trying to be more than what I am. The result? A bratty girl with a big mouth who has an instant hatred for my guts.
I thought this girl was cute. I was new to my place of work. I've been out and about enough in my life and have made just a big enough impression on everyone to warrant my name being remembered by I lot of people. A lot of people I don't know. It's weird. I haven't done anything. But sometimes I'll see
OH SHIT MY SOUPSBOILING OVER FUCK
Enough of this cryptography.
Who do I think I am, a rapper or something?
What I'm saying is that I simply don't play by the rules.
I don't adhere to social standards.
My main goal in being this way is usually nothing more than to brighten some random mope's day, or to stand out from the crowd to some girl who I think is cute so that she'll think of me sometime later that day. I find this unorthodox state of being affecting the girls more so than the mopes, the mopes being less receptive to anything going on in life save whatever bad mood they're in. The trouble comes when a caustic mixture of the two gets stirred up by me trying to be more than what I am. The result? A bratty girl with a big mouth who has an instant hatred for my guts.
I thought this girl was cute. I was new to my place of work. I've been out and about enough in my life and have made just a big enough impression on everyone to warrant my name being remembered by I lot of people. A lot of people I don't know. It's weird. I haven't done anything. But sometimes I'll see
OH SHIT MY SOUPSBOILING OVER FUCK
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