you're in the blenders, now, too.

I'm a very weak-minded person.
I don't know how else to describe this,
these hallucinations I see all the time. The ones I see on the screens of computers... thatsadrag
And the ones i see while I'm looking up information on washer-dryers... I see you in a grey tank top and your hair's still wet from the shower.
I want to hold you.
But that's about it.
I want somebody who i can find myself with.
But you've already done it.
We were fun. but you're not fun anymore.
I don't take people's word for anything.
And if you already know who you are, you're free to blaspheme my search for myself because you already think you know who a good person is.
And you haven't figured out yet, that, I'm not taking your word for it.
You can go to school all you want, you can be trained in classrooms to make tons of money.
But nothing can beat real-world experience. Once the books are gone, all of the variances will come out, the ones you didn't learn about.
I see you in the model kitchen, behind the island making eggs the way you like them.
I see me sticking my tongue out at you because i think they're gross.
You won't talk to me. You probably think I'm going to give you shit.
I probably will. I'm just expecting you to give me shit back.
But you don't.
I won't talk to you. Probably because everything I've ever stood for, you've already determined is disgusting and you don't want to involve yourself with.
Well, you're so good at picking up on it that you fell in love with me anyway.
You love a drug user.
You love a drunk.
You love a heretic.
You love a vagabond.
You love an asshole.
You love a child.
You love me.
I can accept you, easily. You don't see it. I'm always going to give you shit. I do it to everyone.
It's called keeping you in check.
I'm actually out to get you. To corrupt you and get you to accept satan as your lord and savior.
Right.
I see you in the CD aisle. I talk to album covers like they're your ears.
I see the computer chairs rocking back and forth.
I see you in the little girl who's lost her mother in the home theater section.
In my future, I see money. money to support my family and wife.
You're going to school, you want to work all of your life.
You'll always be smarter than I am, wiser, more intelligent.
You'll always be as tall. You'll always be as loud.
You'll never be my little darling. Unless you try to be.
All I've ever wanted from you is someone to protect.
But you're so good at guarding your pain, you ust never want to feel it until you're alone.
I've only seen you cry three times.
But I know you have more to cry about than that.
That's what my fucking shoulder is for, god damn it.
My steadfast shoulder. Fucking cry on it, for pete's sake.
You've never let me seen any emotion from you, no kind of emotion that make you human.
FUCKING OPEN UP TO ME.
I see you in the checkout line. buying our son a camera for his birthday.
I see me right behind you, on a leash, chiming in when i'm needed.
I want to see me carrying you through the doors.
I want to see me cradling you while you fall asleep.
But you keep fucking it up.
Because you're **** *******.
And you change for nobody.